This post may trigger PTSD, Claustrophobia, anxiety, or other mental health disorders. Read at your own will because we’re diving deep.
I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude lately. It’s something I’d only thought about in passing all the times before. Before my life almost ended. On September 28th I was in a car wreck that could’ve easily claimed my life (pictures below & the Less than flattering injury photo, the other side of my face is worse so I won’t add that).
That is what I was stuck upside down in. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get down or pull myself up, then I heard the sounds of sirens, voices, and chainsaws. Chainsaws?! This was 6:30am on my way to work, why would there be chainsaws and flashing lights? I had no idea where I was, what was going on, or where I hurt which was everywhere.
I’m totally claustrophobic so when I couldn’t move or get out I panicked which didn’t help the fear I was holding, I thought no one would come for me, and I didn’t know where I was exactly which freaked me out even more.
It turns out the flashing lights and sirens were the firetruck and ambulance coming to get me, and the chainsaws I heard were the firefighters cutting down small trees to get to me enough to get me out.
I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but before they arrived I was in the middle of a prayer asking to please be found. That is when I heard the noises and I can’t explain the relief that washed over me. I wasn’t alone anymore.
I heard s voice ask me if he cut the seatbelt and if I’d be ok, I quickly told him, yes so away he cut. He did it with grace with one swipe and I fell to my butt. He was gentle and caring and it was reassuring for once. The neighbors up the street where it happened called 911 on my behalf which ultimately saved my life.
I don’t know how long I was unconscious but it was long enough for a team 3 counties away to get me to. They covered me with a blanket which freaked me out (because claustrophobic) and began cutting the rest of the front window out, my airbag had shattered and the window to pieces and knocked out the driver’s side so they began cutting out the window and prying the door opening with a machine that sounded like something from a horror movie. There I was under that blanket not being able to see anything but able to touch the broken glass all around me.
I was loaded into the ambulance and taken on a 45 minutes journey to the hospital ( at least that’s what I’m told, I was in and out of consciousness). When I arrived at the hospital they were ready for me. They did every test possible to see what had caused the fainting spell but they found nothing, I did bite my tongue though.
There was tree bark in my phone case. Shout out to Iphones, It doesn’t even have a scratch.
To my surprise, my twin brother showed up while I was still halfway unconscious and I remember thinking “who is this prick and why is he talking to me?”. He walked out and was gone for a few minutes but by then a doctor had brought me a wet cloth to wipe the never-ending trickle of blood from my forehead and other spots on my face.
When my brother returned I sort of remember who he was and he spoke then I knew it was him, he wiped the blood off my face twice and told me he didn’t even recognize me because my face was so swollen. My brother isn’t emotional at all so when he started crying so did i. Since being twins (we call each other our womb mates) we have a special bond and it’s crazy but when something is going wrong the other can sense it in some way rather it be a feeling of uneasiness, actual pain, or mental strain. He stayed with me until my mom showed up then they were both standing in the front of the room I was in because nurses and doctors and wires were everywhere.
Around 12:00 pm when I regained consciousness and was feeling a little like myself except stiff, sore, and bleeding. I was able to take the load off my mom and brother by cracking a few jokes on my behalf. Everyone was surprised I didn’t have any broken bones or that I wasn’t dead.
The next few days I could barely walk but I made it happen because I don’t like anyone fretting over me. But this is my 2nd episode so they kept asking if I was trying to hurt myself and I kept telling them no that I have no idea what happened. The first time it happened I hit a transfer truck but nothing but bruises and scratches then too.
I must say 2022 has been a horrible year and I pray 2023 is full of good vibes. This year alone I’ve had 2 nearly fatal car wrecks, cervical cancer, a hysterectomy, my house caught on fire, I lost my license (x2), and got let go from my job. I have medical bills and personal bills to pay but I have no income coming in.
I’ve started my writing business over after a few years away but that’ll take a little bit to generate revenue. So I’ve thought it over numerous times and decided to start a GoFund Me page for bills (for those who donate can stay up to date with the updates I’ll share).
If you donate I’ll write a 400 word article (for any amount donated) for your business or blog. The topic would be your choice, it’s my thank you since i can’t give you a crying hug. I understand it’s around the holidays and money might be tight so if you can’t donate then please say a prayer for me. If you will.
I never ask for help so this is huge and different for me but I need a little help.
Thank you for going through my journey with me. This entire post is to say don’t take things for granted because you never know what can happen in an instant to flip your world upside down. I’m terrified to get in a car, they’ll take my license again because I’m a medical risk.
Thank you and God bless!